backseat revelation

i try on purpose not to over-talk about our adoption to the boys.

the wait is hard on me, let alone two little boys who have no concept of time. especially foster, who refers to any amount of time as being "last week".

"hey daddy, last week we had pancakes for breakfast." (talking about today)
which may, in fact, be true, however it gets confusing with things like, "daddy, do you want to play candy land with me last week?"

anyway, i make a point to not talk about it all the time. we pray for her, and when we draw pictures of our family, we draw her too. sometimes i'll say things like, "someday, when God brings us our sister from China, we'll get to go to the park and teach her how to go on the swings."

it's been a week or so since i've meantioned her, though she is never far from my mind, especially as i am gathering the last bit of our paperwork to (finally!) schedule our homestudy.

apparently, thoughts of her are not far from foster's mind either.

this past wednesday (you know, "last week") we went to ikea to meet up with friends.
we had only been in the car a few minuets, when the most amazing and beautiful conversation transpired:

foster: "mom, when i have my sister, where is she going to sit?"

me: "oh, you mean, where will sister sit in our car?" (trying to choke back my instant tears of joy at his precious thoughts)

foster: "yeah. can she sit in my seat? i want her to have my chair so she can be safe."

me: "that's so sweet and thoughtful of you foster! (choke, choke, wipe away tear) i love that you are already looking out for her! you are such a great big brother! but, where will you sit?"

foster: "i don't know. maybe i can get a new chair."

me: "yea, that's a great idea! ooohhh, maybe you can sit in the WAAAYYYY back!!! it would be an adventure!"

foster: (eyes lighting up as he gazed into the back seat) "yea! then sister can have my chair!"

the rest of the drive, i wanted so much to keep talking about her. to make it seem like it's closer than it actually is. to talk with him about her dark hair and eyes and how small she will be. how much she will need her two big brothers to help her make sense of her new world. but i didn't. someday soon.

i love that he thinks about her. already big brothering on her behalf. she is so very loved.


  1. I love that down the line she will have posts like this to realize how much she was loved and wanted! :)

  2. so sweet! kate and i were out to dinner tonight and we saw a family with 2 boys and a little chinese daughter. the boys obviously adored their sister and it was so precious. kate leaned over to me and whispered that it reminded her of what your family will be like one day. :)

    praying for grace and strength for you in the waiting!

  3. speechless
    cutest boy alive
    with the biggest heart



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