ceiling tiles and bathtubs

in all of this moving around, i keep looking for ways to keep us anchored. the boys were pretty confused about our move especially since we are in a temporary place at the moment. they were both a bit frantic when they saw everything we owned in a stack of boxes. we talked for days on end about the things you take with you...and the things you don't. like door knobs and light fixtures and ceiling tiles and bathtubs. it's funny how their little minds see things so differently. they don't have preconceived notions about life. they see it as it comes. their little hearts trust immediately. truth is truth. what mom says goes.

we talked a lot about what makes us a family and how our stuff isn't what we need to help us feel at home. our piles of endless stuff piled high in my in-law's barn. getting down to the basics makes me forget what i even have in all those boxes. out of sight out of mind is a wonderful thing because it makes me realize all of these things we take with us don't really mean as much to me as i think they did.

today, we played for a bit in our soon to be planted garden. clint tilled it on sunday and we plucked out some of the newly unearthed rocks and threw them into the surrounding brush.

thankfully i remembered to set aside a few small shovels in all of our packing...it seems that vehicles and shovels are two of our necessities...even topping towels and sweatshirts...both of which i had to hunt down yesterday amidst our mammoth storage pile.

i wished she were there with us so much it hurt.

maybe i'm a little more exhausted than usual, but some days i just can't help but cry for her. i see the boys scooping and shoveling and finding random spiders and ants. i so want her to experience all of the things in life that she hasn't seen yet. there is so much she needs and so much of life i want to live with her. i can't help but think we are missing out on her wonderfulness and the joy she will bring to our family.

it motivates me to work harder and keep perusing her. every part of this process has taught me so much about God's pursuit of us. it is deliberate. it is planned. it is done with utmost love and tenderness. even when we aren't ready, He continues the pursuit.

the boys have been talking about her alot. a random person at church asked them about their sister and foster spoke right up and said "she's coming from china".
it was really sweet.

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