past glistening {more like dousing}

i'm currently in route to one of my life goals.
among competing on Top Chef, learning to play the drums, going platinum blonde and becoming fluent in Chinese, one of the things i've always wanted is a yoga body. i tried the P90x version a few times, and nearly passed out halfway through. then i saw living social had a 20 sessions for $20. seriously? $1 per class??? that's craziness! thankfully, a few great friends bought the same deal as well, and we are crossing off our goal together.
it's quite easy, actually. sort of like a gentle stretch whilst enjoying a relaxing & leisurely evening.
haha. i kid.
in fact, it is so hard that at times, it's laughable. i've never known a person's body could contort in such a fashion. i've never known my own body to inflict such pain upon itself, using only itself. i've been trying to push myself as hard as possible...or at least until my ancient former stardom shoulder gives way. the high plank/low plank/side plank combination has nearly brought me to tears.
oh, and did i mention it's 90 degrees outside? and it's a HEATED yoga class? truly, there is a heater in the corner of the room.
there is no one perspiring in this class. no glistening. no dabbing of the forehead. there is only dripping, pouring, skin dousing sweat. i had no idea such vast quantities of sweat existed. it's gross.

i've also noticed (thanks to the full length mirror, and a comparison view with the rest of the class) that my arms and legs are freakishly long. not slender and lengthy...oh no. gangly. at one point, while attempting to stretch my uncooperative leg above my head (unsuccessfully i might add) i looked at my friend lauren and said "i feel like i'm holding someone else's leg!" they are so long and cumbersome. almost like someone's leg was creeping up on me.

by the end of 1 hour and 15 minuets, i'm totally muscle wobbling exhausted. in fact, last week, i literally drove home, got in bed, and went to sleep. it was 7:45pm.

but there is another feeling creeping in. i felt it for the first time tonight. rejuvenation. 
for the first time in a long time, i noticed my ab muscles feeling stronger today. a glimpse of what they used to feel like pre-pregnancy when i was in shape and awesome.
the instructor said your physical strength can mirror your inner strength, or something yoga-ish like that. and as we were doing our core workout (1 hour into an already core pounding class) i felt my inner self decide not to quit. choosing to stay in low plank. choosing to attempt one more airplane standing split thingie.

my inner self needs strengthened too. and i find myself focusing on my relationship with God while yoga is doing some kind of "ohm" or whatever it is.  yoga seems to be about the universe. about "letting the light in". but there is so much more to life! oh, so much more. it's our Creator, not the creation that we worship.

somehow, through all of this ridiculous sweating, and downward dog business, i'm finally letting myself rest, or at least for 4 minuets at the end of class :)
it's a practice i need to exercise, even more than i need my yoga body.
the practice of rest. resting and allowing God to workout the details i mull over and over.

there are so many things going on in our life. i won't list them. they feel heavy at the moment.
but then again, are they really that heavy? or do i add a 50lbs sack of flour on my back during low plank?
i think i magnify things because i forget to rest. i forget the investment of 4 minuets at the end of class. there is something to be said of quiet. stillness. and it takes practice.


  1. Amen to that, angie. That is something my church really focuses on--actually practicing having a sabbath. A day to rest, time to do something that you LOVE to do, for YOU and only you. As a mom, it's REALLY REALLY hard to find that time. But I think doing something, even like yoga, is great. You don't have the kids with you, it's you and some friend. And I'm doing the shred (way different, but still...exercise)...and it is rejuvenating (in a painful, OhmigoshI'mgonnadie way).

  2. I'm a huge fan of BIKRAM yoga, sweating that much is so detoxifying and addictive! I lost a lot of weight and noticed a huge change in my body after I had Violet and went regularly...keep it up!

  3. go girlie! i think you look fab already and i love your long legs. embrace it! buy some shorts and strut.

  4. i love love love love doing this with you!!!!
    You are doing amazing- Im inspired by your perseverance!



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