some version of the plague

i've had days when i just want to stay in bed.
to have a clone to do the meals and rif-raf and crafts and activity coordinating.
the cleanup and the nap time and the whining and the toy overload
to leisurely spend time, gazing at pinterest, watching an assortment of mindless movies on netflix or catching up on the House episodes i forgot about.

but when it actually happens, it's never quite as exquisite as i imagined.

that's because it only occurs when i've been swept away by some version of the plague.
take the past week for instance.

what started as a nasty cold, took all my might to make it through the week. i spent most days in a fever crazed state and found it necessary to let the kids watch way too many movies. we ate strange meals and at one point, while emery was napping, i was in so much pain, i told the boys to go into the kitchen and eat whatever they could find. by the time friday rolled around, clint came home early and i drug my nearly comatose self upstairs and didn't emerge until some 30 hours later.
i have no idea what the family did to entertain themselves. what they ate. what they did. it's a mystery.

clint peeked in to check on me (no doubt wishing he had a medical mask to donn for fear of entering my germ zone) and i whimpered how much i missed the kids and asked how they were doing.
"there fine. they are ok without you, you know!" he said with his usual candor.

my half smile disappeared. "they are ok without me? seriously? they don't ask about me at all? what about em? is she crying alot?"

clint knew where this was going.
"just go back to sleep. everyone is fine. they love you."

so round about dinner time, i mustered my strength to make an appearance. i had to make sure they didn't forget about mom, after all the fun dad was interjecting. 
as i wobbled down the stairs, all bets were off. 
emery went berserk, crying and crazy crawling over mount Everest to get to me.  foster nearly knocked me over to show me the cars he discovered when they cleaned out the back yard, and rowan wanted me to hold him for an eternity.
they hadn't forgotten about me.
in fact, i nearly failed to survived the onslaught of questions and project ideas and pillow fights during my short interlude of insecurity.

when i finally made it back to bed, i knocked back some nighttime cold gels, tucked under my humidifier mist, and rested, knowing they are just as crazy and wonderful as ever. and i'm their mom. even when i disappear into a medical meltdown for a few days.

this mom thing isn't all it's cracked up to be.
it's much more.
oh so much more.

to be loved by little people who forgive quickly.
to trust effortlessly.
who make joy and fun out of the simple things.
and i have done nothing to earn such earnest love and affection.
eesh, this mom thing is incredible.

1 comment:

  1. Gracious girl, I hope you're feeling better! That is so hard!



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