no whining, no complaining, absolutely no frowning

the weight of unmotivation is one of my heaviest issues as of late
it won't sluff off no matter how hard i try
a grand effort must be staged to convince my semi-comatose self to dust off even the easiest of projects
you know, things like taking a shower and putting on something other than what i slept in...
but the grand effor it always worth it. the weight lightens. 

i've read that 93% of our communication is non-verbal.
and in keeping that staggering fact in mind, i've begun to realize that i don't make it a habit to smile, even if my insides are smiling. worse yet, if my insides are in anguish...well, my outsides share that same message.
a smile can change the feel of a room. a day. an entire situation.
when i smile, i don't take myself quite so seriously.
i find it easier to laugh when i spill my morning coffee all over my stack of important paperwork...or at least, i find it easier not to scowl :)

the kids woke up ridiculously early this morning. somewhere in the neighborhood of 6:45am
anything before 7am is considered rediculous in my book
when i peered through my eyelids, foster had already snagged my iphone and was playing some sort of video game in bed beside me.

(side note: i hate video games. hate them. but at 6:45am? i love video games...i want to marry video games and live a long and happy gaming life together :)

rowan was already downstairs, plotting how to pour his own orange juice.
the troops were ready to start the day, while me and my eyelids were not.
a grand effort was staged to convince my overly-comatose self to move even an inch.
then two inches. three. and finally i reached vertical vertigo.
i could hear emery stirring, no doubt from the video games and orange juice debacle.

we made our way through breakfast and giggled at emery's love of peanut butter. rowan drank 2 more cups of orange juice followed by an enormous swig of my coffee when i wasn't looking

foster enjoyed yet another chinese breakfast. he's been eating noodles for breakfast for the past few days...he insists that since he's "half chinese" he should eat rice noodles at every meal.

he's adorable to the point of inconceivable sweetness. if i told you the sweet things he says, you wouldn't believe it unless i caught it on video. wise beyond his years, this one. today, he broke his noodle fast and ate pancakes. 5 of them.

i made a day altering decision.
i took out every single toy and bin  and castle i could find and set them up all over the downstairs like a giant village filled with every imaginable inhabitant.
to say the troops were excited was an understatement.

part of my smile issue is connected to the motivation issue which is connected to me existing.
existing makes for an uncreative mom who is a bystander to the ongoing fun.
existing is the worst way to spend life...and lately, i have been existing.

today, we didn't exist...we played.
the more we played, the more my coma lifted and creativity ensued.

the boys headed upstairs to build a "zoobrary" out of their bunkbeds (from the book "Wild About Books") and i had the rare chance to have emery all to myself.

 i wish everyone could see this bib-clad girl in her element. she's fascinatingly sweet and funny.

when we finally ventured upstairs, i found 2 tigers defending their tiger babies.

i listened outside their room to their play and conversations...hilarious and precious.
and they smile. nearly all day long.
if a discrepancy occurs and tears arise, an apology is offered and forgiveness given.
and the smiles arrive again

the morning light and his tiger growl...perfection.

i have so much to learn from these creative and joyful souls
today i'm going to remind myself to smile. even if i don't feel like it. even if i feel semi-comatose inside.
a grand effort must be staged
otherwise these frown lines will take over my face and i'll never get them to leave :)


  1. I love your honesty and I looove your heart. :) Keep on keepin' on girl.

  2. Keep on going. If you tell yourself you can, you have already got over the hardest part. Your courage to keep going and your determination are incredible. x

  3. oh my...you took the words right out of my mouth re UNmotivation. it takes a heroic effort for me to get things done these days. when i do have free time without the kidds, i waste away hours of my day watching bad reality tv or playing on my phone. what a wonderful little day you had! your photos are always awesome whether by phone or camera. i love all of your kiddos~ they each have such distinct yet equally fabulous personalities!

  4. Can we please come over and play in that awesomeness? I promise to take along 3 gorgeous girlies and a Fisher Price house, tent, and farm. Please?!
    Existing...I know all about it. Really hard to get engaged sometimes...lots of times?...I'll stick to more-than-I-care-to-admit.

  5. im just reading this 4 months later...
    i needed this!! ive been in 'existing' mode for a bit myself now. its hard to come out of it sometimes. i love your honesty...i needed to identify with someone in order to get over my hump...or maybe slump?



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