one year ago {my last cleft kiss}

one year ago today, we kissed emery's beautiful cleft one last time.
actually, i kissed her lovely original lips at least 1,000 times that day...and cried and cried and cried knowing we would never see her again as she was designed by her Creator.
it's a day burned into my memory and it was a while before she looked like herself again. a while before i didn't feel sharp pains of sorrow, missing her precious tri-lips.
but then one day, she looked like her old self. the new lips didn't look new...they just looked like my emery.  and she smiled...just like she used to, with her whole self.
and now, one year later, i still wish to kiss her creative lippies one more time. and just when i start gazing back at old pictures, she runs by and screams something about "tickle me!!" with brothers in hot pursuit. her cute little words echo through the house and her happy sassy self keeps us all on our toes. she learned how to whistle last month, drinks easily from a straw and actually loves doctors...all things that didn't exist one year ago.
the jury is still out in my mind as to whether or not God created her with surgery in mind. i like to think He creates with purpose and the idea of changing something He made so beautiful has always bothered me deeply. but He also created her with the ability to thrive and captivate and love every bit of life. she has made a deep impact on the world around her and cleft or not, she is incredible and beautiful and made perfectly.
surgery posts found here


  1. Oh my gracious girl, I love this post! Thank you for sharing! One week from today, I will be kissing Nora's tri-lips one last time (surgery was postponed from mid-December, rejoicing in these extra weeks of enjoying her just as God made her). So thankful for others, like yourself, who have gone before us. Love and hugs (through misty eyes), Heather

  2. Hi Angie, I had to introduce myself :) My name is Melanie and I found your blog through Heather L's blog. I live in Cherry Hill, NJ but lived in West Chester for 8 years. I feel like I should know you! We are waiting on our TA to travel to China to pick up our 22 month old clefty son named Levi. www.beautifulblessings5.wordpress.com. I'd love to talk with you about the cleft team you chose in our area, if you are available to do so. My email is mellichowski@gmail.com. Hope to hear from you soon!

  3. aawwww. she was so tiny... and look at her now! so grateful and happy with you for your little girlxx

  4. Oh Ang, I so miss Tahlia's beautiful cleft smile too...I miss kissing it.
    Its been a hard journey from saying goodbye to the face and smile we fell in love with, walking these precious girls through the awfulness of surgeries and, finally..... embracing their "new beautifuls"
    A story only GOd could write.:)
    Love you!



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